Recently I wrote a blog about hearing Stacy Peralta, a legendary skateboarder (and now many other things) say the following:
Imagine removing a pan of boiling water from the stove and setting it on a counter. Gradually the temperature of the water will decrease to that of the temperature of the room. This is explained by the second law of thermodynamics, which very simplified states that all natural systems experience entropy. In the case of the pan of boiling water, the heat will always pass from a hotter body to a colder body. It will never reverse without another change.
He concluded his metaphor by saying that we want to do whatever we can to not become room temperature. We need to keep a flame going under ourselves.
Agree?
I used this quotation when speaking to a group of women who are or recently were in business, either for themselves or with an organization. And I got a lot of pushback from a large percentage of the women, which really surprised me. They were objecting to the idea of having to keep a flame burning brightly when they were ready to turn the flame off, or at least lower it significantly.
I have no idea what exactly Mr. Peralta meant by keeping the flame going and not becoming room temperature. Having thought about this a lot, though, what I mean is that we continue to live a life with intention.
We’ve all watched women leave their professional careers and basically “do nothing.” From my own experience in leaving a corporate job I’d been in for many years, I know there can be a period of time where we want to do nothing. This is a time of healing, of decompression, of getting back to “me.” And if a woman can financially afford to take that time, it’s very important. In the Hudson Institute of Coaching model of adult development, this time is called “Cocooning.” That name is very descriptive of what this time can feel like and the value it can offer.
What Is Your “Next”?
And then the cocoon opens and a new life emerges. It is at this point that it is important for a woman to decide what she wants the next period of her life to be like and, with intention, plan for it. There are many aspects that she can consider. Here are a few:
Work:
Do you want to look for another full- or part-time paid position? If you’ve had your own company, do you want to start another one? Either doing the same thing or something different? Do you want to spend at least some of your time doing volunteer work in an organization whose mission you support? Taking time to make a considered decision on this is very important so you don’t just fall into something because it’s easy.
Friends and Family:
Are there any people in this category to whom you have not given as much attention as you’d like? If not, great; but if so, what plans do you want to make to correct this? For example, you might set a time each week or month when you will have face-to-face time with them. If this isn’t possible, then how can you best connect with them electronically? This is most likely to happen if the contact is scheduled on a regular basis.
Health and Wellness:
We all know what we SHOULD be doing in this category: getting seven to eight hours of sleep every night; drinking plenty of good water per day; eating lots of organic fruits and vegetables; avoiding red meat; getting at least an hour of exercise four to five days a week; etc. But with the busy schedules many of us have had, a lot of those things just haven’t happened. How do you want to correct that?
Spiritual/Religious:
There’s no question any longer about the positive impact regular quiet time, spent in whatever way we want, has on our overall health—physical, mental, and emotional. Has this time been pushed to the side? If so, what would you like to begin, or begin again, on a regular basis?
Purpose/Meaning:
The idea of “What do I want to contribute to the world?” may have been ignored as we pursued our careers and took care of family responsibilities. One of the elements that consistently surfaces as being important to living a long, healthy life is to have a sense of purpose. What difference do you want to make? This doesn’t necessarily need to be world-changing, although it can be. It also can mean contributing to something that is deeply important to you in your local community or state.
Living With Intention
I think of the famous quotation attributed to Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I’ve always thought that was a fairly intense statement. But apparently he said it when he was on trial for his life, so intensity is understandable under those circumstances. Nevertheless, I tend to agree with him. If we don’t figure out what’s really important to us and live with intention, we will simply react to things as they happen. In essence, other people and circumstances will determine what our life is like. Examining our lives and living with intention will keep the flame burning brightly, and we will not become room temperature.
Please respond in the comment section below, and let the rest us know if you agree or disagree.
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