Do you remember George Burns? A doctor I saw recently didn’t recognize a reference I made to the 1960s because he hadn’t been born yet! So I’ve gotten very careful about discussing the past lately. I feel fairly comfortable my readers will remember George Burns, however, since he died at age 100 in 1996.
I’ve been thinking about his often-quoted quip about his age: “I can’t die! I’m booked!” I think that’s pretty funny, and I also think it’s worth pondering. If you were to say, “I can’t die because….” how would you finish that sentence?
What Would You Say?
Some women would say they need to be there for someone (e.g., children, grandchildren, spouse, parents, etc.). If that’s your answer, I absolutely understand. And then I would ask, how would you finish “I can’t die (because. . . . .”) strictly for yourself?
A couple of times when I’ve been in difficult health situations, I’ve said with conviction, “I can’t die because I have too much still to do!” And I think that’s true for all of us. In fact, this feeling is exactly where my opposition to traditional retirement and my passion for Antiretirement comes from. At this point in our lives, we have garnered so much wisdom, so many skills and experiences. We’ve weathered really tough times and have come though, perhaps scarred, but stronger. And we’ve celebrated marvelous, breathtaking times that have expanded us in unique and stunning ways.
The World Needs Us!
So, we can’t die (yet) because who we are and what we can do are needed by the world. The world desperately needs what we have to give at this point in our lives.
Here’s the part I don’t say out loud enough: most of us aren’t giving it. Not because we’ve run out of wisdom and passion (we’re sitting on more than we’ve ever had) but because somewhere along the way we unconsciously bought into the idea that this stage of life is for winding down, not stepping up. Retirement culture hands women a script: slow down; take up less space; let the younger ones take the wheel. And a lot of us are following that script even when nothing in us actually wants to. I am talking to more and more women over 50 who don’t want to take a traditional retirement but are not sure what else to do next.
I see it in the way capable women describe themselves once they hit 50 or 60. Not “Here’s what I know now,” but “I’m too old to start something new” and “Everyone is asking me if I’m counting the days.” That’s the trap. It isn’t laziness and it isn’t really about age—it’s a quiet, culturally approved permission slip to stop before you’re actually finished.
Take the Next Step!
Imagine women who ignore that script. Like the woman who spent thirty years keeping chaotic projects on track at work, and now runs a nonprofit board with the same unglamorous competence—making sure meetings actually end on time; doing the follow-through nobody else does. Or the woman who spent decades listening to other people’s problems, formally and informally, and finally turned that practice into paid mediation work in her sixties. They didn’t acquire a new skill, although that certainly is possible to do. They simply aimed an existing skill somewhere it hadn’t been aimed before.
The real question isn’t whether you have something left to give. You already answered that if you finished the sentence “I can’t die because….” The question is whether you’re actually using it or just carrying it around, fully loaded.
So, what’s the thing only you can do in the way only you can do it. And when will you start?
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