“What wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t been born?” I was really struck by that question when I heard it. My first thought was how multi-layered the answer is. Let’s start with the immediate things and people around you. If you have children, they wouldn’t be here. My sister has four children, thirteen grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. Think of the ripples those twenty-two people send out into the world. What would be lost if they simply never existed? One daughter is a pastor, another is an instructional designer, another has worked in speech therapy for many years, a son is a brilliant graphic artist/designer. And that’s only my sister’s children. I could go on and on about her grandchildren.

What Ripples Are You Producing?

Even if you don’t have children, think of the number of people you’ve known or had contact with over the years. Imagine the impact you’ve had. Often we don’t have any idea how we affect others, but I think it’s good to stop and think about this every once in a while, because you’ve probably influenced many more people than you give yourself credit for. And think about the subsequent ripples they made as a result of their contact with you. 

There’s also the difference you’ve made through your work. Think of all the contact you’ve had with coworkers, customers, students, or clients. The lasting effects of any projects you’ve worked on, products you’ve helped bring to market, things you’ve discovered or designed. This list is almost endless.

Have you written a book? Articles? Have you composed music or performed music for others? Are you a painter, sculptor, dancer? Have you given speeches to groups on topics important to you?

Take into account the immediate and lasting inspiration you may have provided to your reader, listener, or viewer, and the ripples those people then sent out to others they had contact with. 

Be Proud Of Yourself!

Sometimes the women I work with who are in the second half of their life feel as if they have become irrelevant, are being ignored, or are made to feel “less than” or maybe even a bit “in the way”. This is tragic when the number of ripples they’ve made in their lives—and may still be making— is taken into account. As Eleanor Roosevelt often is quoted as saying: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Never, never, never give anyone that consent. Keep firmly in your mind the many impacts you’ve made in your lifetime and all the ripples that have expanded out from those and are still expanding. We can’t measure this, but we can keep it in mind, knowing it is true.

Give Yourself Grace

We have been focusing on the positive differences you’ve made for people over the course of your life. It also is important every once in a while to look at whether there are negative results from what you say or do—and of course there are for all of us. None of us is perfect, but we can keep in mind in every interaction we have whether we are making a positive or a negative difference for the people who will be affected by our actions. When I am in one of my occasional bad moods, I remind myself that I can at least try not to make someone’s life worse during the course of the day. As an example, many people perform less-than-ideal jobs in service to us. Can we at least not make their jobs harder?

We are all responsible for one another. What each of us does affects everyone else in some way. Let’s make sure that, to the extent we can, we are adding to the kindness and love in the world rather than diminishing them.

Any reactions to what I’ve said? Please let us all know in the comments below.

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